fuckingships:

marvel-lous-things:

Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house

Peter: thank you, but I can’t

Bartender: why not

Peter:

Bartender:

Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant

Bartender, shook: oh, congratulations, boy or girl?

Peter, now in full-on panic mode: it’s an uh, spider

fuckingships:

marvel-lous-things:

Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house

Peter: thank you, but I can’t

Bartender: why not

Peter:

Bartender:

Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant

Bartender, shook: oh, congratulations, boy or girl?

Peter, now in full-on panic mode: it’s an uh, spider

gaypeopletwitter:

carowley:

guys who rarely wear suits look at least 385% hotter when wearing a suit while guys who usually wear suits look 451% hotter when wearing casual clothes trust me this is science

universi-tea:

i think one of the biggest problems i have with getting stuff done is i assume it’s easy for other people. like “she gets up at six every morning because she’s a morning person” or “yeah, he can run five miles every day but he likes running” or “she knows five languages, her brains just wired differently than mine” when in reality it’s all about discipline for everyone. like yeah, some people have natural aptitudes for some things but anyone that’s accomplishing anything is putting in the work. achievements don’t come easy, and i think if i start acknowledging that it’s like that for everyone i can stop making excuses

thefiresontheheight:

kcarrollworld:

thefiresontheheight:

Good reasons to get stronger:

1. Lift girlfriend.
2. Lift wife (someday, I hope).
3. Protect women.
4. Intimidate men.

See, this is healthy masculinity.

No. No it is not. This is me being a lesbian.

corsolanite:

☕️ Pikachu enjoying a nice cup coffee ☕

showing0resultsforsanity:

donutdrawsthings:

donutdrawsthings:

IMPORTANT!

It’s the no-internet dinosaur’s birthday!!

Turn off your internet! He has a hat!!

Is it still??

asoftwrongness:

It’s okay that you’re not who you thought you would be

animution11:

xenon-draws-undertale:

raeartz-reblogs:

xxsmokbeastxx:

ubegremlin:

comickit:

i’m simple….this is my fav character dynamic

alternatively 

Both great, but may I add another variation

but have y’all considered-

@xenon-draws-undertale

lets not forget

All of these are an accurate representation of my last two brain cells